April 16, 2009 4:22 PM
# 82
HEY PEOPLE,
I really really suck in reading solo,
ESPECIALLY when i have to stand in the middle.
Just tell me ? i sucked right?
Well,
During Music Lesson i got.......jealous. It's embarrasing kay.
I never felt that before.
Anw.
Thanks to Josh for comforting me.
He really spoke to me like a Dad, in fact BETTER!
I was just sharing some issues with him.
So to all those girls out there who likes him,
I guarantee youh that he will be a great Father in Future.
I was just really jealous.
He was like saying to that particular girl that he loves her.
Why does he even dare saying that to her & not me ?
I'M REALLY FRUSTATED, til i cant find any words to say.
What's more, he took my handphone, luckily he didn't saw this particular picture,
Or else he'll delete it for sure.
Its a cute picture of him.
Well, before he gave me back my phone.
I had to find my way to get it back.
So what i did was,
I took his Scissors & Water Bottle.
In the End, Kwan Wen snatched the water bottle.
Left scissors,
I quickly put in my pocket.
ahahas,
The boys had a hard time pullin it.
So, he just put his hand in my pocket & took out the scissor.
He was afraid that i might cut my wrists.
well.
Just before RME lessons started.
I saw him cutting.
I was like damn sad.
SAD, til i couldn't do anything.
So i just slept, thinking everything's gonna be over.
But, no.
It wasn't.
I just dont know what to do,
When i saw him cutting.
The feeling is excruciating, til like i myself would want do twice of what he did.
I tried really hard not to,
But in the end.
I did.
Anyways, let me assure you that today's maths test i'm gonna have 0/25
I didn't even do a single Q.
I couldn't think at all.
My mind was stuck & all i could think was,
Why, did he had to do such a thing.
After the Maths test,
Mr Michael came in.
Being a Vice chairman aint easy.
Despite all my problems & that.
I still had to pretend nothing happened & continue smiling.
Or else youh guys would ask me what happened.
Well, tomorrow's the donation drive thingy.
So, i & Josh.
Had to help Mr Micheal do several stuffs.
We had to arrange the tins, Count the number of magnets,
Give the ribbons & lastly.
Get the contacts of my class people.
So, first group who came was his group.
He asked me whether i did cut, i couldn't say a thing.
I told him not to cut anymore.
But he didn't want to listen.
I didn't care much, cause i was really busy with the class thingy.
i cant let it affect me right? even if it really did.
So i just pretended nothing happened.
Finish everything 3pm.
I was really exhauted.
What's more.
He left without saying goodbye.
How my heart aches to be treated this way.
Well, i just gotta' overcome this obstacle.
Gotta' be strong just like what Josh said.
I miss him people.
I miss him people.
I miss him.
Well,
I dont really know what to do with my life.
Currently,
I am like a ping pong ball.
You know go back there & come back here?
Does it makes any sense?
My parents are separated & soon they're gonna' be Legally Divorced.
So, sometimes i stay with my dad & sometimes with my mum.
I really get angry sometimes when,
My mum asks me to go to dad's last minute.
It really makes me pissed off.
But, i didn't want any quarrelling's so all i did was just bear with the grudge.
Youh people are lucky to have a dad & a mum together.
Cherish it & dont ever ever make then both separate.
Sometimes i ask myself.
Am i gonna' live my life like this forever ?
If my mum is gonna' take care of me, does she have the money to do so ?
If my dad takes care of me, will he try his best to understand what only my mum can ?
All these Questions come across my mind.
& sometimes i just felt like giving up everything.
Youh guys wont know how it feels.
Because you're just too lucky.
Now, all i want is for my mum to never ever slap me again.
& my dad to take control and fight for me.
I really dont want to go with my mum,
But i dont want her to be not with me in my life either.
As for my dad, He's great, he helped me alot in stuffs, i'm just worried,
that i'll miss my mum's love for me.
I love my parents very much & i know all those lecturing & beatings was for my own good.
But now, i just cant decide who to go with.
I cant believe that i have to face this.
& cant runaway, like i usually do.
You see how frustating it is ?
SO, YOU PEOPLE.
APPRECIATE OF WHAT YOU HAVE!
YOU'RE LUCKY.
I'm just unlucky thats all.
& crying wont even make a difference.
What should i do ?
Nobody can help.
I just hope he calls me.
If not, well.
i cant do anything about it.
bye.
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Sup, my name is Shandy, I'm 18 and I'm Chinese-Pinoy. I procrastinate & live life.
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